Ramblings of a Spiritual Single Parent - February 2/2/2022 - The Rainbows and The Robins
Updated: Feb 3, 2022
The last time I wrote my blog was November. The last couple of months have been a time to grieve, to heal accompanied by a house move, which was not something we had planned.
I love this photo of my brother and I stood by my Dad. Holding his golf club ; he did love a round of golf. I can honestly say that my brother and I were very blessed to have two loving parents who allowed us to experience life, love us and nurture us. My Dad was always a very active person and played cricket, football and golf. He always encouraged us to try things to see if we liked them. He supported me as a young swimmer who showed promise of great things but also supported me when I decided that I wanted to give it up. As children we tend to put people on a pedestal, particularly those that raise us and look after us. We make beliefs about them and us. We then carry these beliefs into our adulthood. My thing was always trying to please. Wanting to be the apple of my Dad's eye, searching for his approval. I then started to seek approval from others, doing what they liked to do.
It really has been a journey to learn that happiness is an inside job, no one person or thing can ever give you happiness, yet it is a human trait to seek it. It took me many years to be happy with who I am and do things that I like to do. There is still always a tendency to still seek approval but the desire is very small now. I made mistakes but I always picked myself up and soldiered on. Having a new dream, a new goal, allowing myself to grow, evolve, heal and repair.
November 11th was Dad's funeral but it was very fitting for an ex military man being on Armistice Day. The funeral feels like that turning point. It is that knowing that you will never see them again on this earthly plain. My spirituality has been very tested in the last two months. My belief is that no one every dies, but that their energy returns to source and that they are always around us, watching over us. I never mistrusted my belief but I felt the physical loss which was way more than I had anticipated. I felt ungrounded. Everyone was grieving and I was holding it all together. I was being the glue but deep inside I was in turmoil. Making sense of everything that had happened. It hurt more than you can ever imagine. I have to say that it was a particularly difficult place to be. Every word of wisdom I had ever passed on, I could not put into practice. My vibration was low and trying to raise it was so much effort. I was exhausted. When you are exhausted and your vibration is low, inside your are sad and pained and you attract those energies into your vibration. An energy of struggle and effort. It was really important at that time that the signs my Dad sent were the positivity that I clung to - the rainbows and the robins. I knew that at some point this part of the journey would feel easier and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Navigating this deep emotional rollercoaster ride required all the tools in the spiritual box and some very loving, supportive friends and family.
The house that we manifested was the house of our dreams and we loved it but it came with a price tag. Large outgoings which I always met but when my Dad passed the bills were not forgiving. All I could hear in my head was the saying, 'be careful what you wish for'. I had to keep working to be able to pay everything and to top that, the Landlord decided that they wanted to increase the rent. The increase that was suggested was too great for me and was the 'straw that broke the camel's back'. Everything had become an effort. I had not given myself time to grieve. I was putting other people first. Making sure that I was showing up and helping others, keeping on top of bills. I had forgotten that I needed to give myself some time and care. The pressure was building and I had to do something and quickly. Not only had we, as a family, lost someone dear to us all, but my family felt insecure. I felt insecure and I needed to rest and recuperate. A time to step back and just be. Hence, finding a new house which fitted a budget that felt good to me and gave me a chance to step back, breathe and rest. All of which were much needed. Quality time with family is so underestimated. This house had served it's purpose and had brought us closer to my Mum and Dad, to which I am truly grateful. To have the opportunity to able to be so physically and geographically close in those final months was a blessing. However, It was time for another chapter to unfold.
The new house happened all very quickly and the Universe was watching over us. Over 30 people were interested in the house. The instant I walked in I knew it was for us and it was agreed on the spot that the property could be ours. The only requirement was that we moved within 10 days, just before Christmas. The deal was done and that's how quickly we moved. Everything fell into place and the transition was smooth. I knew at this point that we were going with the flow and not swimming against the tide. My Dad was watching over us. There was no doubt in my mind that I was protected and guided.
Whatever we have faced as a family, I have always known that we were being protected and guided. The move gave me the breathing space that I needed to be at one, to be with my family and to allow the grieving process. Everyone sees me as the strong one and I am strong but there is also a vulnerability there as well. Strength is all about being able to show your emotion, to be vulnerable and still believe in the wonders that life has to offer.
My spirituality has served me well over the years and it continues to do so. I believe that our experiences give us the tools to help others. My guides are constantly showing me the way and being able to connect with them brings me such peace.
What have I learned through this experience is that it really is ok not to be ok. That my Dad was proud of me and still is. That I need to put myself first and I am not being selfish. When I am in a good place, it is a good place for everyone. That we can smile and laugh again and life carries on and that is okay too. I can honestly share my experience and hope that it benefits others that have been here too. That healing truly can happen but it is ok to have a bad day. To forgive yourself for wanting to cry and miss someone that you love dearly. That I do love who I am.
I feel alive again and buzzing with energy. I am truly blessed. I am ready to reach out in the world and share the knowledge, work with wonderful people who want to release their negative beliefs or the programs that don't serve them. To help them discover the journey to self love. To heal on a soul level so that life can bring you wonderful, positive experiences. I'm ready to embrace all that 2022 has to offer and more. The possibilities are endless.
Thank you for reading my ramblings and for supporting me in my journey. I hope that you find them helpful.
Sending you all so much love
Lorraine xx
If you feel that you would like to do some deep healing on a soul level with Lorraine. She is running a 3 month course, 'Soul's Journey to Love'. It involves two monthly group healing sessions, clearing programs/beliefs that have been carried from lifetime to lifetime. The group healing sessions are usually around 1.5-2 hours long. Included in the course are the Full and New Moon Ceremonies, where you get to align the chakras, release energies and align to all you wish to manifest. The course ends with a half an hour one to one with Lorraine. The course can be paid for in full or over a three month period. To join click the link below to see the pricing options:
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